Perhaps when you started your
relationship, it was full of love, care and affection. Now, it may have become
a shadow of itself.
But don’t worry. You can make
it blossom again.
First thing first; you need
to understand why the love died. Often times, it’s caused by
“accumulated resentment.”
He does things that hurt you,
you say nothing. Or, vice versa.
When this goes on for a long
time, it can become destructive. So how do you deal with this?
Mutual understanding. Understand
him and help him understand you.
There are 2 levels…
1.
Gender
– understand the qualities he has due to being a ‘Male’ gender
2.
Personal
– understand what makes him unique as an individual
There are psychological
qualities every man share in common – but which most women don’t even have a
clue about.
Not understanding these can
make you treat him the way you love to be treated (as a woman) – ways he may
find offensive.
He’s probably doing the same
thing to you without realizing it.
For example, as a woman, you
love to talk about your problems to someone you trust. And when you’re not
talking, you love to be drawn out – to be made to talk.
This makes you feel
cherished.
But if you treat a man the
same way, he’ll take it as an insult. To him, it’s like you’re telling him that
he is incompetent – incapable of solving his problems alone.
You see! Men love to solve
their problems alone.
When he’s under stress, he
prefers to be alone. A man gets fulfillment from dealing with – and solving –
his problems alone.
He only asks for solution
when he feels he needs it. To him, it’s a sign of wisdom.
So unless he asks, just leave him alone. That’s the only way to truly care for him.
He will come back to you when he’s finished.
And he’ll appreciate you more
because he’ll feel understood.
Another example is how you
express your needs. A man likes it when you’re direct.
You tell him what you want in
a firm but respectful way.
As a woman, you may expect
him to instinctively know what you want and respond accordingly. But he’s not
you: he’s not a woman. So he doesn’t have your kind of instinct. He has a “man”
instinct.
On a personal level, you need
to understand him.
Show interest in whom he is
as a person. And gradually, he’ll start becoming more interested in your
individuality.
When you deal with issues, he
may disagree sometimes.
When this happens, instead of
beating your head and trying to get him to see things your way, try understanding
things through his own reality.
Most couples turn issues to a
contest where everybody wants to be Mr (or Mrs) right. In this atmosphere, he may
never agree with you; no matter how much sense you’re making.
The best solution here is
“concession.” Openly admit he’s right in some issues.
This is extremely powerful.
By doing this, you validate him and make him more open to your suggestions.
That way, you’ll be on a path
to building a relationship filled with mutual understanding and appreciation.
Do you want to discover more secrets to melting your mans heart and building a committed, fulfiling and love filled relationship? Then fill the form below and watch this NO-COST powerful video lesson from my friend, Dr. Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship expert with 25 years of experience counseling successful couples.
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