How To Make The Love Blossom Again

Perhaps when you started your relationship, it was full of love, care and affection. Now, it may have become a shadow of itself.

But don’t worry. You can make it blossom again.

First thing first; you need to understand why the love died. Often times, it’s caused by “accumulated resentment.”

He does things that hurt you, you say nothing. Or, vice versa.

When this goes on for a long time, it can become destructive. So how do you deal with this?

Mutual understanding. Understand him and help him understand you.

There are 2 levels…

1.     Gender – understand the qualities he has due to being a ‘Male’ gender

2.     Personal – understand what makes him unique as an individual

There are psychological qualities every man share in common – but which most women don’t even have a clue about.

Not understanding these can make you treat him the way you love to be treated (as a woman) – ways he may find offensive.

He’s probably doing the same thing to you without realizing it.

For example, as a woman, you love to talk about your problems to someone you trust. And when you’re not talking, you love to be drawn out – to be made to talk.

This makes you feel cherished.

But if you treat a man the same way, he’ll take it as an insult. To him, it’s like you’re telling him that he is incompetent – incapable of solving his problems alone.

You see! Men love to solve their problems alone.

When he’s under stress, he prefers to be alone. A man gets fulfillment from dealing with – and solving – his problems alone.

He only asks for solution when he feels he needs it. To him, it’s a sign of wisdom.

So unless he asks, just leave him alone. That’s the only way to truly care for him. He will come back to you when he’s finished.

And he’ll appreciate you more because he’ll feel understood.

Another example is how you express your needs. A man likes it when you’re direct.

You tell him what you want in a firm but respectful way.

As a woman, you may expect him to instinctively know what you want and respond accordingly. But he’s not you: he’s not a woman. So he doesn’t have your kind of instinct. He has a “man” instinct.

On a personal level, you need to understand him.

Show interest in whom he is as a person. And gradually, he’ll start becoming more interested in your individuality.

When you deal with issues, he may disagree sometimes.

When this happens, instead of beating your head and trying to get him to see things your way, try understanding things through his own reality.

Most couples turn issues to a contest where everybody wants to be Mr (or Mrs) right. In this atmosphere, he may never agree with you; no matter how much sense you’re making.

The best solution here is “concession.” Openly admit he’s right in some issues.

This is extremely powerful. By doing this, you validate him and make him more open to your suggestions.

That way, you’ll be on a path to building a relationship filled with mutual understanding and appreciation.

Do you want to discover more secrets to melting your mans heart and building a committed, fulfiling and love filled relationship? Then fill the form below and watch this NO-COST powerful video lesson from my friend, Dr. Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship expert with 25 years of experience counseling successful couples.

This video might be taken down anytime soon. So fill the form below and watch it NOW.

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How To Get More From Him

As a woman, it’s in your nature to give. To contribute and support your loved ones.

But sometimes, you feel unappreciated. It’s like you’re giving more and getting less. Sometimes it’s easier to blame him – but that rarely solves the problem.

You may expect him to even the odds. But he may not even realize you’re hurting.

The best solution is to set and respect limits. 

Men give more when women set limits. You must be assertive: clearly tell him what you want. Sometimes, women expect their men to intuitively know what they (women) want.

The problem with this is that men are not designed that way. You must state what you want.

Be careful. Fear may prevent you from setting limits. Most women fear, rejection, judgement and abandonment. They believe they’re not worthy – and that’s not true.

Maybe they’ve been abused, rejected or neglected in the past.

Now they’ve turned this experiences into believe and locked it deep inside them. They may start believing that they’re unworthy of love and support.

These believe can sabotage you. And mind you, it’s just a believe – not the reality on ground.

That’s why most women express “neediness” instead of “need.”

The difference?

Neediness is when you express your need desperately because you don’t trust that you will get it.

In a man’s mind, this behavior means that you don’t trust HIM to give you what you want. He doesn’t understand that you behave that way because you fear his rejection.

Instead, he feels rejected and unappreciated. That’s why he pushes you away (psychologically).

Need is when you openly reach out and ask for support in a trusting manner: one that assumes that he will do his best.

This empowers him and makes him feel trusted.

Remember that men are turned on when they feel needed, but turned off by neediness.

Most women marvel at the transformation they see when they set limits. It’s counter intuitive but it works.

Most women don’t give their opinion. Some say they don’t want to hurt him.

So they keep things to themselves while their men never get to find out. Over time this builds up as accumulated resentment and start causing damages.

You need to be authentic. Be yourself but be polite and respectful. Yes. You will not always agree but by keeping quiet, you may be building the foundation for your relationship’s failure.

The next time your man has an opinion or idea that’s different for yours, politely but firmly state your own opinion.

Be open to his ideas, but realize you do not have to accept them for your own.

Do you want to discover more secrets to melting your mans heart and building a committed, fulfiling and love filled relationship? Then fill the form below and watch this NO-COST powerful video lesson from my friend, Dr. Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship expert with 25 years of experience counseling successful couples.

This video might be taken down anytime soon. So fill the form below and watch it NOW.

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How To Get Back His (Loving) Attention And Express Your Wants

Bob is a sweet guy. He tells Maggie sweet things and buys her small gifts.

His hugs, kisses and words of love makes her toes coil. She feels sweetly vulnerable and he seems to always know where Maggie is emotionally.

His conversations are always deep and meaningful. His eyes glow. His voice gets deeper and softer. His body relaxes. He seems to speak from his heart.

He’s so tender, loving and caring and Maggie feels fulfilled being with him.

But that was years ago. Now he has changed. Maggie is NOW invincible. He doesn’t notice her anymore.

His hugs and kisses are now cold – more like a duty.

His conversations are now shallow – like he’s trying to shut her out. He doesn’t let her talk and emote anymore. The T.V remote now seem more important.

Maggie is confused and don’t know what to do.

She has tried everything: She has taking the passive route. Yet nothing. She has complained and threatened. Yet nothing.

Even the sarcastic route has not worked.

Now she’s trying to be the ideal woman: She does his laundry, iron his clothes, takes his car for detailing, makes his favorite meals, dress sexy and workout.  Yet, nothing.

Where is she getting it all wrong? UNDERSTANDING!

You see! Men want to please. They want to make the woman they care about happy. But they don’t know how to; and they don’t even realize it – and most women don’t know that they don’t know how.

They assume that their men automatically know how to. When he makes the effort, she discourages him without realizing it.

Confused? Don’t worry. It will be clearer in a moment.

Believe it or not, men and women are profoundly different – and mysteriously alike. They live in the same planet but experience radically different realities.

That’s why his empathy is different. And both of you don’t even realize it.

So he has been giving love the way he understands. But it has been counter-productive. So he feels discouraged, disappointed and confused. That’s why he shuts down and stops trying.

And here is the interesting part…

The biggest culprit here is your communication style – the feedback he has been getting.

Often times, these are communication pattern that are completely normal in your reality – except that his’ is different.

There are 4 possible ways to communicate.

      -  Passive

      -  Aggressive

      -  Passive-aggressive

      -  Assertive

3 are counter-productive. 1 is a complete turn on: It gets him so high like coke.

Now let’s explore them…

Passive is when you don’t tell him anything. You want something from him – or he does something that displeases you – and you say nothing. Perhaps you care for him and don’t want to hurt his feelings.

So you sit and just wait for him to "magically" know what to do.

The problem with this is that a man’s instinct is not the same as yours – his realities are different. If he was a woman, he would instinctively know what you want.

As a result, he gets so confused.

He doesn’t know for sure if he is pleasing you or not. AND THAT’S IMPORTANT TO HIM. So he gets frustrated and shuts down.

Aggressive is when you yell, intimidate or threaten. Perhaps you feel ignored and just want to express it. Or maybe, you just want to help him improve.

The problem with this is that he will not understand your intention.

His intuition will interpret it as you blaming him. And men hate to be blamed. It bruises their ego and makes them feel like a failure.

That’s why they get defensive.

It can also lead to a deep resentment – the effect is catastrophic when you allow it to build up. He could become something else.

Passive-Aggressive is when you are sarcastic. You say one thing when you mean another.

The problem with this is that there is always tension.

He never feels relaxed with you. And if he can’t relax with you, he can’t trust you. When he mistrusts you, he withdraws.

Assertive is when you calmly and clearly tell him what you want – or mean.

Here, you’re standing up for yourself in a respectful way – you speak from the heart.

When you talk like this, a part of him wakes up, pays attention and feels connected.  He begins to understand you because you’re now talking the way men communicate – direct.

As a result, he’ll always know where he stands with you.

He’ll never feel confused. He’ll respect you and look at you with new eyes.

For example, if your man has chosen yet another Saturday to go golfing instead of spending some time with you…

You may normally react by yelling, hanging up on him, or storming out of the room… or maybe withdrawing.

The next time a situation like this occurs, calmly state: “I am disappointed. I have been looking forward to a Saturday spent together for a while. Do you think you could make time for us to go to a movie Saturday afternoon, and then to dinner?”

A man is more likely to want to compromise—or maybe even decide that he can forgo golf for one weekend, when he hears your request as being reasonable.

Another example, if he asks you where you want to go for dinner…

Don’t hem and haw with “I don’t know, whatever you want,” and then sulk at dinner because he chose pit BBQ and you really wanted Italian.

Say, “My preference tonight would be for Italian. What’s yours?”

This gives your man something to work with, instead of later wondering what he did wrong because you’re not really eating or talking to him.

Do you want to discover more secrets to melting your mans heart and building a committed, fulfiling and love filled relationship? Then fill the form below and watch this NO-COST powerful video lesson from my friend, Dr. Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship expert with 25 years of experience counseling successful couples.

This video might be taken down anytime soon. So fill the form below and watch it NOW.

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How Your Man Thinks – And How To Get Him To Be More Open

When you hear a woman say, “We never go out,” you may instinctively understand. But, men don’t. Most don’t even have a clue – and that may surprise you.

And let me ask you?

When men talk about “ego,” what do they really mean? Tough one right?

Well, it’s the same with men – understanding you is tough. That’s why he shows displeasure when you suggest things. It’s why he gives you solution, when all you need is his listening ear.

He just doesn’t get it because…

Men and women are psychologically different. So they speak – and understand – different ‘sub-language.’

By understanding these differences, you can become the only woman that truly “gets” him. As a result, he will cherish, appreciate and be more open to you.

He will give you what you need and make you happy.

Every man wants to please his woman and make her happy. Yes. When he loves a woman, he wants to give.

But like women, men love the way they want to be loved – the way they understand.

I call it the “male empathy.”

Men give when they feel needed, trusted and appreciated. It makes them feel empowered.

He needs to feel he’s important to you. He needs you to trust that he will do his best. He needs his efforts appreciated.

Let’s get specific…

Men value competency power, efficiency and achievement.

That’s why they’re more “logically” and “physically” oriented – and less emotive.

His primary source of fulfillment comes from success and accomplishments. This is what defines his sense of self.  That’s why he’s always doing things to prove himself– but he needs to achieve them by himself.

He only asks for help when he feels he needs it – to him, it’s a sign of wisdom.

And that’s why he gets offended when you advice or correct him. He feels insulted.

You might be doing it to nurture him and help him grow; but, he will instinctively interpret it as you telling him that you don’t trust him to know what to do – as if you are trying to control him.

It may be hard for you to understand but… Never advice or suggest to him – or else he asks for it. And when you do, just point the facts. That’s how to nurture him.

For example…

If he misses his way while driving, don’t suggest he use the map – or anything like that – unless he explicitly asks for it.

Be clear on what you want: be assertive. When he gives you solutions and all you want is his attention, tell him. He wants to be clearly shown how to make you happy. That’s how his mind works.

When a man is upset, he becomes alone or silent.

You may usually try to help him by trying to get him talking. He’ll reject it.

If a man saw another man in that mood, what he does is to leave him alone because he instinctively understands. That’s male empathy.

But as a woman, it’s easy to miss the point.

You see! Men DON’T deal with their problem by talking about it. They deal with it by finding solutions “by their self”. So they need to be alone.

By trying to get him talking, he may get offended.

It’s like telling him that you don’t trust him to solve the problem by himself – that he’s incompetent.

So when you see him in that mood and he refuses to open up to you, you may think he’s rejecting you.

No he’s not. He needs you to leave him alone.

He’ll love you more for understanding. As a result, he’ll start coming out of his shell and being more open and attentive.

Trust me. It works like magic.

Do you want to discover more secrets to melting your mans heart and building a committed, fulfiling and love filled relationship? Then fill the form below and watch this NO-COST powerful video lesson from my friend, Dr. Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship expert with 25 years of experience counseling successful couples.

This video might be taken down anytime soon. So fill the form below and watch it NOW.

Name
Email

Please Note: A confirmation email will be sent to your mail box. Please check it and click the confirmation link. That way, you'll never miss my powerful lessons and exclusive offers.

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